Pretend Love

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The Roman Goddess Mefitis

Through my son Rock Star and his band, I’ve become a fan of the Avett Brothers, and their song Pretend Love is a good theme song for this post.

If I came with a present
I would bring you a clue
In hopes you’d finally see
That your feelings for me
Will never be returned

I’m guessing a lot of you remember a cute little black and white cartoon character of the genus Mephitidae (for you non-science nerds, that’s skunk – in Roman mythology, Mefitis (or Mephitis) was the personification (goddess) of the poisonous gases emitted from the ground in swamps and volcanic vapors). Pepé le Pew captivated all of us with his romantic antics and franglais: “I am Pepé le Pew… I am your lovairrrr!”

In the middle of the night last night, we were rudely awakened by a noxious smell that was so thick I could practically taste it… aaaggghh! Apparently, a skunk made its way into our cellar by way of the crawlspace under the front porch. Unfortunately, this is just where the ductwork connects to the furnace, so along with warmth, we got a big shot of… well, I’m sure you know exactly what it smells like. Enough that I needed to reach for my Vicks VapoRub (so good at masking smells that it’s reputed to be the forensic pathologist’s secret weapon).

Maybe Pepé thinks he does love me, as evidenced by his attempts to gain access to my boudoir in the wee hours of the morning. Well, Pepé, I want to make one thing complètement clair – you are not my lovair. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say I am not zee lovair of you! There may be someone, somewhere in the world – a skunk of the female persuasion, perhaps? – that considers a spritz of your pungent, burnt-garlic perfume to be an aphrodisiac… but it most definitely is not me!

I guess it’s time to tune in the Skunk Radio, an old radio we keep in the cellar. Along with a bare light bulb left on right by the crawl space, we’ve used this, in spring and fall, as a deterrent to those nocturnal visitations. Nothing too romantic, to be sure – a boring talk show seems to do the trick. Maybe I can persuade NPR to reprise the entire audio broadcast of the Iran-Contra hearings between midnight and 6 AM every day until skunk season is over!

In the meantime, I’m keeping my Vicks handy….

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I See America Reading

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Main Reading Room, New York Public Library, NYC

I wrote this piece as a letter to the editor a few years ago when public libraries were on the state budget chopping block in Ohio (now reprising it, with a few modifications). Thankfully, the cuts didn’t turn out to be as drastic as feared, but there were cuts.  This most democratic of institutions can be a lifeline for so many, especially in these scary economic times. But the closing or sale of public libraries is always a possibility. In 2004, the John Steinbeck Public Library in Salinas Valley, California, setting for many of Steinbeck’s novels, was seriously threatened. A read-in covered by national news outlets brought hordes of citizens, as well as authors, to the library to raise awareness about the impending closure, and this publicity, along with private funding, saved the collections.

The last-minute rescue of that ironically named and situated public library was not the last skirmish in the battle to save public libraries and services. A corporation called Library Systems and Services has taken over many failing public library systems, and is now the nation’s fifth largest library system. An entity that has as its bottom line “The Bottom Line” has its own and its shareholders best interests at heart, not yours. But given a choice between an outsourced, privatized library, or no library at all, which would you choose? A Hobson’s choice indeed.

I am a huge fan of public libraries. It was a momentous occasion when I proudly acquired my first borrower’s card, at the age of six, in my hometown library on Long Island. Since then, I have moved quite a few times, and the first thing I’ve always done in my new community has been to get a library card. I’ve explored the stacks and pored over books in locations ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous – from the grand elegance of the Main Reading Room in the New York Public Library to a miniscule, converted stone jailhouse with iron-barred windows in a Colorado mountain town. And now, here, our homey Yellow Springs branch of the Greene County Public Library, where I can hang out comfortably, greet my neighbors, and chat with amiable librarians who know what I like and often recommend some good reads.

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Old stone jail, former site of Telluride Public Library

I’m also a bargain-hunter — and I can think of no better bargain than membership in the local public library system. According to statistics in Greene County, the average patron borrows about 38 items from the library each year. At an average cost of $15 per item, a family of four can save $2350 a year by having a library membership.

Perhaps my family members are more voracious readers than most (and living right down the block from the library helps!), but between books, magazines, CDs, DVDs, audio and videotapes, my family probably borrows over 500 items a year – that’s at least $7500 we save every year by using the library instead of having to buy or rent! And that doesn’t take into account additional benefits offered by the library, such as reference services, public speakers and instructional workshops, programs for children and teens, and free internet access. The library is also a safe and popular gathering place for upper elementary and middle school kids, and provides free meeting space for a variety of community groups.

Our county library system is extremely user-friendly. Besides being able to consult with a helpful and friendly staff at the library itself, we can also choose to scan the catalog, renew or request a book or video (even from a library outside our own county, state or country!), by connecting with the system from our home computers. What could be more convenient?

If you are book-lovers like me and my family, and you appreciate the benefits of having an excellent public library system, please join me in supporting the library and heading off the devastating effects of such drastic budget cuts by contacting your state representatives, supporting your local library association, and checking out the American Library Association’s Campaign for America’s Libraries. Keep America Reading!

The Reader's Bench outside the Yellow Springs Public Library, created by local artisans Kaethi Seidl and Beth Holyoke

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The Revolution Will Not Be Televised.

A few days ago, my sister Pegeen and I, along with two old friends from Long Island, joined the Occupy Wall Street protestors at Zuccotti Park in lower Manhattan’s Financial District. My homemade sign, “Out of Work in Ohio” attracted a lot of interest, and quite a few interviews. I was glad to see that there was at least a small network news presence (I was interviewed by CBS News) but most were very small news outlets, school papers, independent radio stations, etc. And unfortunately, the video that CBS ended up airing seemed to focus on some of the more disparate elements of the mass of people, such as a young man who, while he played with his pet rat, complained about “Wall Street” taking his 40K inheritance.

Admittedly, there is some truth to the description “rag-tag” used by some journalists, in both its meanings: somewhat shabby, and mixed or diverse (in focus). Living in Yellow Springs for the past 25+ years, I’ve long since learned that it’s pointless and deceptive to judge people simply on the basis of appearance, although “establishment” types will tend to take you more seriously if you dress more conventionally (truth be told, though, how much sartorial splendor would you expect someone to display who’s spent the past few nights in a sleeping bag on the pavement?). But even a pierced and pony-tailed twenty-something man, whose beard was tied neatly at intervals (think King Tut mask), told me he was glad to see a “normal-looking person” such as myself taking part.

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People are making too much of the fact that the majority of the people present are young – of course they’re young! – they’re getting out of college now with mountains of debt, but without the prospect of a job that will enable them to pay off that debt (not to mention daily living expenses). They also have a lot of physical and mental energy, and are willing to sleep on the street for days at a time to keep the occupation going. I’m here to tell you that there definitely are people of all ages and walks of life there. But if you figure it’ll be helpful to have more folks there in business suits, then put one on and get out there yourself!

granny     87 yrs

As far as cause and demands, you might talk to 20 different people and come up with a few different answers, but generally speaking, dissatisfaction seems to stem from the fact that this country is – and has been for a while – a plutocracy, with a very small fraction of the population wielding power – socially, politically, economically – by virtue of its great wealth.

20% of the population controls over 80% of the financial and housing wealth in this country, meaning that the vast majority of the population has control over a measly two-tenths of those assets. To put an even finer point on the disparity, the richest 1% control fully one-third of the wealth in this country. Contrast that with the huge number of folks who have recently lost their homes and jobs, and continue to do so. (In 2009, a Deutsche Bank analysis of the housing and mortgage markets estimated that 25 million borrowers, representing a record 48% of all Americans with mortgage loans, would plunge underwater before 2011. I’ve been digging for figures and it’s not easy to find a total and yearly comparison, but during fiscal year 2010, nearly 3 million homes were foreclosed on, with an additional 1.2 million the first half of 2011.) Does this bring to mind something out of Dickens? A Tale of Two Cities, perhaps?

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem as if many of these super-rich people give a damn about the plight of us “just plain folks.” How ironic is it that Wall Street’s swankiest shops (Tiffany, BMW, etc) were holding their second annual “Luxury Night Out” at the same time that some of the aforementioned unemployed were assembled en masse in the same neighborhood? And that a cadre of well-dressed people on a balcony at Cipriani 55 (a restaurant associated with Cipriani Club Residences’ luxury apartments) laughed, sipped champage and cocktails, and snapped touristy photos as marchers passed underneath? Sort of a new millennium equivalent of Nero fiddling while Rome Burned. Is Warren Buffett the only “one-percenter” honest and humane enough to admit that he pays a lower tax rate than his own secretary, and that he can easily afford to and should pay far more?

Since the NYPD has been garnering a lot of attention, here are my own observations from my few hours with the NYC protest: There was an obvious police presence around the park, which grew larger with time. Liberty Street, on the north side of the park, went from containing small groups of cops and a few vehicles to being filled (side-by-side, rather than bumper-to-bumper, so more could fit) with squad cars and vans before 3PM, and as we walked up Broadway just before the march started (we had to leave early to retrieve our friend’s car from a closing parking garage), many police vans, filled with cops, were racing, lights flashing, down toward the park. They were obviously expecting something to happen. (And something did – an hour or so later, 700 protesters were arrested on the Brooklyn Bridge.)

Any enforcement-based interaction I had with cops was minimal, but for the most part, it involved a few officers calmly asking protestors to move back so that pedestrians could easily pass on the sidewalk (and the protestors complied, equally calmly). I did notice something a little curious – the line of police directly in front of us was a mix of races, and it was very noticeable to us that there were a couple of white cops who definitely seemed angry, jumpy, and what I would describe as “on the verge” – looking as if they were wanting to grab someone and give them what-for. They wouldn’t talk to anyone, and when approached, told the people curtly to get away. The black cops we talked to were polite, easy-going, and cordial, laughing and joking as they did their jobs. Don’t know what, if anything, that might signify, but we thought it was interesting enough to comment on to each other.

The movement may have started out seeming small and amorphous, but it’s gaining strength and purpose as time goes on. A few mainstream journalists, including Mike Konczal, of the Roosevelt Institute, and Nicholas Kristof, op-ed columnist for the NY Times, offer some advice on articulating demands that protect public – rather than private – interests (click on their names to read the articles). And “The 99%” itself – meaning YOU! – can be part of formulating and then voting on demands by going to this page. You can participate in a local protest or march – check out www.occupytogether.org – there are links to local groups across many states and countries (47 states, and 14 countries so far). If a group in your area is not listed, keep checking – it’s growing every day. And if you can’t be there yourself but would like to contribute in some way and have a little money to spare, you can help feed and otherwise keep the protestors going. You can also help to make sure there is universal coverage of the events unfolding by asking the local and national media outlets to feature it prominently in their daily news coverage – if they can send reporters to the Middle East for round-the-clock coverage of the Arab Spring, they can sure as hell send a reporter to the closest protest, or even to NYC!

Some people have expressed worry that this movement will not keep Republicans out of the White House and the majority in Congress. I’d like to have a Democratic President and congressional majority myself, but I think that’s not really the point. The political arena, as extremely partisan as it has become, is accomplishing nothing that truly benefits us. Because people are so partisan, standing solely against one party or another (as opposed to deeply investigating and then deciding to support specific issues), lots of them end up voting against their own interests as citizens and individuals. I see this as a movement that people of all political, religious, etc persuasions can get behind, working together to demand real accountability and an end to big money (and private gain) having the greatest influence in our government and economy.

99%

Remember – WE ARE the 99%, and the marchers’ chant can really come true – THE PEOPLE – UNITED – CAN NEVER BE DEFEATED!

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The Kids are Alright

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The father of one of my son’s good friends died recently – unexpectedly, and way too young. This got me thinking (again) about what it means to me to be a parent, and what I’d want my kids to know when I die. As one of my favorite writers, Leo Buscaglia said, “Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time… It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other.”

When I was younger and childless (or child-free, as I considered it at the time), I wasn’t one of those people who’s fascinated with babies. I stood impatiently by, not the least bit interested in joining in, while my friends cooed into baby carriages, bounced toddlers on their knees, and goo-goo-ga-ga-ed at drooling infants. I didn’t even know whether the objects of their admiration were cute or funny, because I couldn’t be bothered with looking at them. I was just eager to move on to wherever we’d been headed.

Somewhere further along the line, my feelings changed. I’m not sure why – maybe it was one of those days when you ask yourself, “Is this all there is?”

When I was in my early thirties, one of my brothers asked if I was planning to have kids. The notion had kind of poked its way into my head by then, but I still wasn’t sure it was a good idea. At that point, my biggest objection was that I thought I wouldn’t be able to handle it – that I wouldn’t be a good parent. His perspective, being the father of three young girls, was that just the fact that I worried about being a good parent meant that I would be one. “Too many people don’t give it a moment’s thought before they jump in,” he observed, “and for a lot of folks, it shows. If you’re worried about whether you’ll do a good job or not, it probably means you will – you’ll be a thoughtful parent.”

Twenty-odd years later, my two boys are mostly grown – The Angler will very soon be “legal” and Rock Star is a precocious seventeen-year-old. Many moons ago older women would tell me, with a nostalgic sigh, that I should enjoy every minute – the nerve-wracking newborn cries, the Terrible Twos, the tug-of-war of the teen years – because it would all go by so fast, and my little ones would soon be on their way.

Every mom comes to know – probably just a little too late, that this advice is true. By the time you realize it, your kids are already beyond the hugs and kisses, the tug on your hand to share a new discovery, the belief that you are the font of all true love and information. And suddenly they’re tooling proudly down the driveway in your car, with hardly a backward glance.

Before you kids fly the coop for good, this is what I want you to know: my life is immeasurably richer, more joyful, more exciting and fun simply because you’re in it. Sure, I have some grey hairs and wrinkles now, but I would have had them anyway – despite some nail-biters, frustrations, and late nights full of worry,  having you guys in my life keeps me younger, rather than aging me. In keeping up with your interests, I’ve continued to canoe, hike and camp, bait hooks with worms and gut fresh-caught fish, go screaming down water slides and jumping in leaf piles. I’ve stood in the rain and mud at music festivals and attended concerts of great bands I might never even have heard of, and have the privilege of hanging out with some fabulously interesting, adventurous and talented young folks. And I’ve laughed – oh my God, how I’ve laughed at your antics and stories!

I’m incredibly proud of you – you don’t have to become a rocket scientist or discover a cure for cancer to merit that pride – it’s yours just for being you. And as the posting going around Facebook right now says, to save my kids I’d catch a grenade, take a bullet, stand in front of a train, and ask God to take me instead of you. I really would. I love you guys – and don’t you ever forget it.

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¿Uncompahgre? ¡No Comprende!

I spent some of the happiest days of my life working as a ranger for the US Forest Service and the US National Park Service. This was something I looked forward to from the time I started camping as a child, and marveled that someone could actually make a living hiking and talking to others about nature.

My official title in the Forest Service was the inspiring and somewhat intimidating (to me, at least) “Wilderness Guard” – as if my uniformed presence were the only thing keeping vast hordes of interlopers from decimating the beauty of the Uncompahgre Wilderness. Since I didn’t pack a gun and weighed all of 115 lbs, the reality was a little different. Although I carried a red card for firefighting, my customary duties involved more trail clearing, outhouse cleaning, and talking to hikers and campers than fire suppression. And though I frequently traveled alone and might have felt a little apprehensive if truly threatened (it never happened), my personal arsenal of chainsaw, axe, pulaski, hoedad and other firefighting and timber maintenance tools could have been employed in a pinch… the Uncompahgre Chainsaw Massacre (sounds a little more fear-inducing than the Uncompahgre Self-Defense-Motivated Hoedad Injuries)!

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Me, armed to the teeth with hardhat, Nomex, and pulaski

I lived and worked in one of the most scenic places in the US, the area around Trout Lake in the San Juan Mountains of western Colorado. I don’t know how I was so fortunate to land this assignment – a few years before I’d been given a coffee table-type book of beautiful photos of Colorado, and the picture I turned to most often was of a full moonrise over a lake surrounded by craggy, Alp-like peaks – the caption read “Trout Lake.” When I was called and offered the position, my reaction was, “How many Trout Lakes can there be in Colorado?” Lucky for me, only one!

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Trout Lake at Lizard Head Pass - photo by micktravels.com

Situated at nearly 10,000 feet elevation, the area around Trout Lake was an important segment of the Rio Grande Southern narrow-gauge railroad from the late 1800′s to the mid-1900′s, and although that segment was eventually abandoned, some sections of track, part of an old wooden trestle, and an original water tank can still be seen. I was fascinated by the history of the place, both railroad and mining related.

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Locomotive & water tank at Trout Lake, c 1940

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Ophir Loop of the Rio Grande Southern, c 1910

My co-worker, whom I dubbed the Six-Million-Dollar Seasonal (his name was Austin, and this was not long after the Lee Majors TV series), accompanied me two or three days out of the usual week, and when we finished all the work we could find for ourselves to do (or sometimes in the midst of carrying it out), we found other ways to occupy ourselves, or relieve some of the boredom (yes, being alone or nearly so in the silence of the wilderness can sometimes lead you to do some crazy things!). We took photos of each other pretending to be engaged in “recreating” in the National Forest Recreation Areas – this involved some planning, as when we carried a boombox and golf club with us just so we could be pictured rocking out or teeing up on the flat of a huge, ugly pile of mine tailings. We also set up a scenario that made it look as if one of us had been accidentally swallowed up in a trailside outhouse, balancing a hardhat on a couple of invisible wires strung across under the toilet seat, accompanied by a wire-stiffened and paper-stuffed pair of rubber gloves made into claw-like hands that looked to be desperately gripping the seat from below. (Somewhere, I have slides, which we thought would make good motivational training for future rangers, memorializing this event – I need to dig them up.)

Our favorite boredom-relieving activity was a sport we called “Beer Can Jockey.” Now that I’m thirty years away from that particular posting, and probably not likely to seek employment with the USFS again, I can relate the details of this admittedly-unsafe and definitely not government-approved pastime. For Beer Can Jockey (more accurately called Beer-Soda-Bean-etc Can Jockey, but Beer Can was catchier) we needed to be in the truck, and we only engaged in this behavior on a little-used red-dirt road whose main traffic consisted of the occasional Hereford bull that somehow skipped the cattle guards. One of us would be the driver, the other the jockey – either position was challenging, but jockey was infinitely more fun. The driver would tool along the road pretty slowly (necessary because of the ruts, the quantity of dust, and the possibility of the aforementioned “wildlife”), with the jockey hanging down out of the opened passenger-side door (lap-belted? and gripping tightly to some handle or other, of course). When the driver spotted the requisite piece of trash, he or she would call out, “Can!” and steer the vehicle so that the can would suddenly appear directly under the passenger door, to be scooped up by the jockey and tossed into the bed of the truck – score!

Most of my work with the Forest Service was not quite so entertaining, at least not in that vein – and it was frequently dirty, tiring, and sometimes dangerous, but I remember those days as practically idyllic, and wouldn’t trade them for any other experience!

PS: The title of this post comes the fact that so many people had trouble pronouncing the name of the national forest that those of us who worked there nicknamed it the No Comprende!

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Salt in my Wounds, Chlorine in my Eyes

One of my favorite summer spots as a kid was the Williston Park Pool, known to most of us simply as “The Pool”, or the “Wil” part of the infamous Wil-Min-Flo swim team rivalry.

The Pool opened in the early sixties on the site of the Old Motor Parkway (http://www.nycroads.com/history/motor/), and adjacent to Kelleher Field, where the Little League “Majors” games were played (and which had an outfield fence that “homer” hopefuls aimed for). The pool was an immediate hit with the locals, and I remember it being extremely crowded almost all the time.

Early on, there was free bus service, using school buses – one stopped right around the corner from our house, and I took one particular bus so often that I remember the exact hour it stopped to pick us up – 1:05 PM! We usually took the bus home, too, but if we missed it, home was less than a mile away, a journey we sometimes made still dressed in our swimsuits and caps!

More recent photos show the pool with water slides and other amenities, but we had no trouble enjoying the stripped-down version of its early incarnation. There were three diving boards at the “deep end” (before the threat of litigation prompted their removal), and if we weren’t doing bellywops or cannonballs off them ourselves, we were standing at the edge of the diving well admiring others’ form – I especially liked to watch people who could do a graceful swan dive or jackknife, something I never managed myself. If someone attempted a serious dive and missed, landing with a loud slap on their back or stomach, there were audible groans (followed by surreptitious laughs) all around.

The lifeguard corps was a group of (mostly male) bronzed gods who sat high up on their blue stands, their faces shaded by white pith helmets, twirling Acme Thunderers around and around their fingers. Occasionally one would blow a shrill tweet and point at some kid who was horsing around in the water a little too enthusiastically, or yell at someone else to “Walk!” on the pool deck (at which most of us offenders would resume our travels with a race walk kind of gait); I don’t think I ever witnessed a rescue.

Tall, blonde, Tom Mohrmon was the Zeus of this group, at least to a large group of pre-teen and teenage female admirers, who several times daily vied for the privilege of dipping his pith helmet into the water and pouring its contents on his feet. Sure, it was a condescending equivalent of “Peel me a grape,” but there was no lack of willing slaves. (I also remember a lot of giggling buzz when he became a substitute teacher at Herricks Junior High a few years later.)

When I was little, my girlfriends and I (no cootie-carrying boys allowed, thank you very much) spent hours playing tea party, which involved sinking down to the bottom of the pool wielding imaginary tea pots, pouring cups of tea and passing them around to the other participants, who obligingly mimed drinking them and smiling at the hostess. We also practiced handstands, summersaults, and the latest water ballet moves, and sometimes ventured over to the “swimming lanes” to do some laps. When our lips were sufficiently blue, we hauled ourselves out of the water and peeled off our white rubber bathing caps, usually pulling out a few hairs at the same time.

Out of the pool, the prime hang-out spot, especially as we neared the teen years, was the umbrella-shaded middle deck, half-way up the slope to the kiddie pool. However, since this area was usually occupied by authentic teenagers or adults, the next best thing was to spread our towels directly on the hot concrete in the lower corner near the vending machines. We’d retrieve a deck of cards from someone’s beach bag and amuse ourselves with several rounds of Old Maid, Rummy, or Go Fish, then stretch out to warm ourselves and burn to a crisp (no such thing as sun block back then). One of us might have a leatherette-covered transistor radio, and we’d gather around and listen to Cousin Brucie, Dan Ingram or Murray the K spin some tunes.

Occasionally, if I had a little leftover from my twenty-five-cent allowance, I might stand in front of the vending machines, trying to choose between a small paper cup of orange or grape soda, bright yellow chicken broth with specks of parsley floating around, or a milky, sugary cup of coffee. More often than not, I had no money, and would just stand and watch as someone else’s cup dropped down into place and filled with the coveted elixir. Once in a while, the empty cup didn’t fall straight in the chute, and all the watchers would exclaim in horror as the buyer jumped into action, batting at the cup to try to right it.

When we were baked enough, we’d replace our bathing caps and head back to the water. Sometimes our play was interrupted by an announcement, booming over strategically-placed loudspeakers: “May I have your attention please? Lifeguards, stop the swimming in the pool!” This usually occasioned near-total quiet, and as the disembodied voice droned on, we’d send sign-language messages to our friends about what to do once the announcements were over, while we hopped impatiently from foot to foot on the hot pool deck. If the day was cooler, legions of little kids stood shivering, skinny arms wrapped around our chests as rivulets of water dripped from the hems of cotton bathing suits.

“Thank you, and back to your swim” was the signal for hundred of kids to throw themselves back into the water, resuming the joyful screaming that was the normal audio backdrop to a day at the pool.

All good things must come to an end, of course, and our swimming day over, we’d troop up the ramp to the bathhouse and into the locker rooms to change back into our street clothes. We’d bring our locker “keys” (numbered disks on elastic bands that we wore around our ankles) to the teenage attendants who would retrieve the corresponding baskets and slide them over the counter to us (I was fascinated by this job and always thought I’d jump at the chance to do it when I was a teenager, but unfortunately, when that time arrived, I was no longer interested in hanging out at the pool.) I loved the way the sun filled the roofless space and warmed our bodies as we stripped off our dripping suits and rolled them up carefully in our towels.

Somehow, as soon as we stepped out of the gate and into the parking lot, the temperature went up 100 degrees, and the trek across the lot seemed like a brutal army mission, picking our way in flimsy thong sandals across broiling asphalt, running with streams of melted tar. I broke the toe loop in more than one pair of sandals by getting them stuck in the gluey mess. I can still smell the sweet and pungent aroma of that hot tarmac!

Everything about those days is so much a part of my memory that now, whenever I hear some public announcement and it ends with the usual cordial “Thank you,” my mind’s ear automatically appends the words, “…and back to your swim!”

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Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer

Doing some cleaning today, I got a whiff of bleach water, and was transported back to the beach-and-pool days of my youth. I don’t know why it happened just now – I certainly use bleach often enough, and never think of this. Maybe it’s because it’s so hot and humid out right now, just like those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer growing up on Long Island.

Although we did have a very nice community pool near our house (more on that in another post), our preferred swim spot was the beach, usually going to the Atlantic oceanfront of Jones Beach, about 20 minutes from our house. (We employed, with different influences, varying nicknames for our favorite swimming hole: Dad called it Joanjez Beach, and when Peg was taking Spanish in high school, we switched to La Playa de Jones – pronounced HO-ness.) With so much anticipation building, the drive there seemed endless and hot as an oven, and we wrestled in the back seat to get close to the open windows (until we got a VW bus and there were enough windows for everyone). Dad would have his cigar (yuck!) or pipestem clamped between his teeth, alternately exhorting us to quiet down, or getting us riled up about who would be the first to spot the totemic water tower. “First one to spot the tower gets a nickel!”

                         

As we neared Ocean Parkway, the trees thinned, and tall, swaying phragmites lined the road on both sides – you could literally smell salt in the air. Over the drawbridge, watching the boats ply the waters underneath, and there was just a little bit longer to wait until we felt the hot sand between our toes. If we parked on the bay side, we’d walk under Ocean Parkway through a long tunnel, and we’d make echoing ghost noises all the way through, along with every other kid.

Dad would set up our green-and-white striped beach umbrella and point out landmarks to try to keep us from getting lost on the way back from the water to the old Indian blanket, but a few times I managed to get disoriented, and wound up on top of the lifeguard stand, the guards blowing their whistles to attract worried parents’ attention. I now know exactly that freaked-out-parent feeling, as at least one of my kids followed in my footsteps with that routine!

Me, 1962

Mom always packed peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches, and filled the squat old green jug with Koolaid (lime was my favorite) or a mix of lemonade and grape juice, and as we ate, our teeth chomped down on grit, as sand always seemed to get mixed up with everything!

Sand was the order of the day! In our food, our shoes, our swimsuits and towels, permanently glued to our feet. Even if you stopped at the outdoor showers by the bathhouse to wash off your feet, you still managed to track loads of it to the car. (And when we peeled off swimsuits at home to rinse off in the shower, there was always a sandy residue in the tub.)

Taking a stroll in the Central Mall area was almost like walking in an outdoor art museum. Although we knew our way around by heart, you could navigate by way of some nifty Art Deco silhouette signs, advertising everything from restaurant to playgrounds to rest rooms. The bathhouses and water tower were also Art Deco, constructed of Ohio sandstone and multicolored Barbizon brick with copper accents.  And inlaid into the concrete of the sidewalk near drifts of flowers and a tall flagpole flanked by nautical pennants was a huge map of Long Island, and stylized sea horses, crabs and lobsters, all crafted from red and blue slate.

     

There seemed to be miles of boardwalk, outlined by shiny mahogany railings (now replaced with aluminum), and all the trashcans were hidden inside ships funnels. Along the boardwalk you could see the band shell and the Marine Theater where Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians entertained the masses some evenings, as dancing couples swayed to the rhythm. The Marine Theater was also home to traveling musical shows and later, rock concerts.  If you were in the mood for a different kind of cultural experience, you could join the folks on the shuffleboard courts, roller skate, golf, or shoot arrows at archery targets. There were even a few teepees with Indians in full regalia (curiously, Lakota Sioux rather than the Shinnecocks native to Long Island). Last, but not least, there was a long fishing pier where anglers would gather to wile away the hot afternoons – one of my sons has even carried on the tradition at that spot!

                                   
    

The Angler, 1996

If we were lucky, rather than having to eat the sandy PB&Js, my parents might spring for some french fries, cups of hot, tomato-y Manhattan clam chowder, or my favorite, Mello Rolls, which were cylinders of Neopolitan ice cream that you unwrapped and popped into a rectangular waffle cone – yum!

     

I know things aren’t quite the same as they were when I was young – some things have fallen into disrepair, others have been updated in a way that just doesn’t have the same coolness factor. But after almost 100 years, Jones Beach is still a great place, and my own kids love it just as much as I did!

Rory & Maeve, 2003

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